A Journey with God

God took me on a journey .... that I will always & forever be grateful for. This journey has been one of the single most impacting roads of my life. I have truly felt the heart of God & will forever hunger for more...



"As I sat speechless, in awe of the magnificent, matchless Wisdom & Love of God, thinking how far beneath His thoughts mine had been, I sensed that He had one more question."...



I challenge you to read about my journey and ask God to whisper to your heart as you do...



Have you ever met someone & found yourself wondering, “Hmmm, I wonder…Was this person conceived in love ... in marriage ... in the back seat of a car ... or ... in rape?” Have you ever met someone & then tried to justify their existence, simply based on the circumstances of their conception?



I used to believe that rape or incest was the one “exception” for abortion. Because, surely my God, Who Is Love, could not expect a woman who had been thru such a horrible ordeal as the violent, degrading act of rape, to then carry the “product” of that act to term, giving birth to a constant & life-long reminder of that violation.



Then I had a brilliant idea. I asked God His thoughts on the situation.



Wow. This began a journey for me that I will always & forever be grateful for. This journey has been one of the single most impacting roads of my life. I have truly felt the heart of God & will forever hunger for more.



The Bible says that God's thoughts & His ways are far above ours. I found out that my thoughts were right from the pit of hell. We know the devil comes ONLY to lie, steal, kill & destroy. But God promises that His Truth will make us free!



Please, do yourself the high honor of asking for God's wisdom instead of mans.



Following is a snapshot of my journey to understand God’s stance on the issue of life conceived in incest or rape. How I wish I could say I've never believed a lie but, I had been deceived.



God whispered to my heart a few simple questions; questions that, quite honestly, I thought I had already answered for myself.



1) "Who gives Life?" God asked.



"Why, You do, God!" I proudly exclaimed!



"Yes!” God answered, “That's absolutely correct!"



2) “Do I make mistakes?" "No, God! You never make mistakes!"



I sensed God was proud of me as He answered me, "Absolutely correct again!"



3) "Do you remember in My Word, in Genesis 50:20..."



I interrupted God & said, "I remember! Joshua said the thing was meant to hurt him, but You, God, intended it for good – to save many lives!"



"Yes, you have answered correctly.”



4) Now, if I give Life, & I do not make mistakes, &



5) If I take that which was meant for harm & turn it for good,,,



6) Is a baby EVER a mistake?...



7) Is the “timing” EVER off, or ... Since I Am the Giver of Life, must the timing be PERFECT …



8) …no matter the ‘circumstance’ that I GAVE LIFE in?”



Stunned, I sat quietly pondering all that God was revealing, especially His heart. I pondered God’s great Wisdom & Love, how He declares the end from the beginning, how He Is Alpha & Omega…



God continued,

9) ”Could it be... that I saw the great pain & devastation my precious, darling, daughter was enduring & whispered, 'My sweet daughter, I'm going to give you a precious gift for the pain that has been inflicted upon you – a most precious gift, that I ALONE can give – a baby!!! To have & to hold, to love & cherish, as a reminder that in your darkest hour, I visited you & smiled on you, & blessed you with a precious baby, a life that I want to use to bless you & to save many others!'”



10) “Did it ever occur to you, that My giving Life in the circumstance of rape may be to SAVE that woman's life from the spirit of death that was meant to be imparted by the enemy of her soul?”



11) “For, indeed, does every rape produce a baby?"



As I sat speechless, in awe of the magnificent, matchless Wisdom & Love of God, thinking how far beneath His thoughts mine had been, I sensed that He had one more question.



My spirit whispered, "Yes, Lord, what is it?"



Came this question, whispered to my broken spirit,

12) "If you saw a darling little 2 year old playing in the park, running & jumping & swinging; as you – in your passionate love for children – watched this precious little child, someone whispered to you… '(gasp!) that little child was conceived in rape!' ... Would your first thought be, '(gasp!) We should kill the child?!'”



My heart cried, “No, God, of course not!”



Came one last question: “Is not this the same child from ‘conception’ to now & even until death? Why, then should this child be sentenced to death before birth? Did something change – did the rapist give Life to this baby – or did I, God Almighty, the only True & Living God?"



From my broken heart – broken because I had sold my God short; broken because I had so far missed the mark & mis-judged the heart of my God; broken because, on all the days prior, my God had set before me Life & death & until this moment, I had foolishly – & prejudicially – “chosen” death for this single group of God’s gifts!



Broken becasue I suddenly realized, I had been judging God!!!



From my broken & forever changed heart, I repented.



Then God reminded me that EVERY CHILD IS A GIFT FROM HIM, that He NEVER qualifies that – God NEVER says, "If you're married; if you're planning; if you want the baby; if you have the baby; if the baby was conceived in love...no, He says EVERY CHILD IS A GIFT, THE FRUIT OF THE WOMB A REWARD, AN INHERITANCE, A HERITAGE – FROM HIM. (This is a perfect place to tell you - if you have aborted - God's Son Jesus paid the price for every sin when He hung on Calvary. If you struggle with guilt from past abortion, please get in touch with me - I want to help you be free from that.)



An interesting fact, often & easily forgotten, is this: That baby's biological father is a rapist, but that baby has two biological parents, a Daddy & a Mommie. And, it doesn't take "two" to make a baby - it takes "THREE".



When a woman is raped, she is a victim. When she aborts, she is now suddenly also an aggressor. Abortion does not erase the rape – instead it complicates it – often making it completely impossible to forget. The rapist took something from her that he had no right to take, but he did not take her life. If she has an abortion, she takes the life of her own iinnocent baby, a baby that God had entrusted to her - either to raise - or to release for adoption. Every child is a gift but sometimes we are a vessel for the gift to be given to another.



Ez 18:20 says that children shall not pay for the sins of their father.



When we sentence a baby to die because they are conceived in rape, we are passing sentence on an innocent baby for the sins of the father.



We are also short selling God, His plan & His Truth; as well as that violated, innocent woman. Death is never the best option. Death begets death. By selling that woman the devil’s plan, wanting to erase the life of her baby, we are telling her that neither she, nor her baby are worthy of fighting for; neither are worthy of life or protection. Instead, we want to violate her again, by violently ripping the gift of Life from her womb.



Many places in God’s Word warn against shedding innocent blood. A baby in the womb – no matter how the baby is conceived – is the most innocent of all. Whether we are holding the vacuum or the knife; the probe for the ultrasound assisted abortion; or simply turning a deaf ear; or a blind eye; or simply supporting the “Right to Choose Death,” we are guilty of shedding innocent blood.



It seems every where I turn, I am confronted with the reality that we, in America – especially Christians – have compromised on everything, at every level, starting with the Word of God & Who God Is. But the Bible says, “Jesus Christ, the Same yesterday, today & forever.” He never changes. Rom 11:29 says that God’s gifts & His call are irrevocable.



I submit to you that God Is not confused, He Alone gives Life & He never makes mistakes!



Ultimately, we only have One Person to be concerned about pleasing, or answering to. Of course, that Person Is God. I beg you, to ponder & pray over the Truth of God's Word on Life – specifically, Life in the womb. God Is NOT pro-Choice – especially not in the case of rape.



NEVER without a plan, God never creates ANYTHING without a purpose – certainly not a baby!



You may wish to hear some stories from amazing people who were conceived in rape. Their moms chose Life, mostly in spite of plenty of people encouraging them to choose death.


Abortion, incest & rape are NOT political issues, but since many think they are, we must battle on the field where the battle is being fought. In real war, the real battle takes place behind the scenes – in preparation, strategies & mind set. Just the same, behind the scenes, we must also fight the real battle, the spiritual battle, for truly sexual immorality, abortion, incest & rape are Gospel issues.



Prov 24:10 If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength! 11 Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter. 12 If you say, "But we knew nothing about this," does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not he who guards your life know it? Will he not repay each person according to what he has done?



I trust this will help set your heart free & give you the courage & strength to be Pro-Life with no exceptions.



Your “Friend for Life,”

Pam Caylor

Executive Director

First Choice Pregnancy Services

Las Vegas, NV

Host, “Voice of Life” Radio Show

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