I'm in Recovery and have been sober for almost 19 months. I got sober on 2/26/11. When I was 2 weeks sober I started dating my ex again who both my mom and I loved and though he'd make a great father and husband. I was 2 1/2 month sober at the time. I went to see him over Memorial Day weekend and it happened. A couple days after I got back I had a feeling I was pregnant, just this instinct that I was. I was also getting very emotional over everything and got nauseous after I ate. At the time I was like ok no big deal if I am for sure pregnant we'll raise the baby together.
Shortly after that we broke up and then I figured well even though we're not together we can still raise the baby. I started telling him that I thought I was pregnant and he didn't belive me. I also didn't know for sure either. So a few weeks go by I started getting the period cramps kind of bad but no period and that went on for a week. Then I got 2 pregnancy tests and took them and they were both positive.
My friend recommended my to a place called A Women's Place. I went there the next day took another test and that one was positive as well. I was excited yet scared at the same time because I didn't know what to do!
Now that is when I found out her father wanted nothing to do with her. After I took the test they brought me in the room and went over every option. I knew I wasn't going to do abortion so it was either adoption or parenting. After a few weeks went by I decided I was choosing adoption because with myself living in a halfway house and having nothing that it wouldn't be fair for my baby. I was 2 months pregnant when I officially decided adoption.
I met with the Director of the Agency which was connected to A Women's Place and we talked and she though we should wait until I was 3 months "out of the risky stage" before we proceed with the process. So when 3 months came I got in with the Agency and eventually started looking at profiles. It took a few times of my going there and looking before I picked a family.
When I did I had to wait until the Agency called them up and said they were picked and set up a time to meet with me. We then met and I loved them from the first meeting and we continued to meet once a month before the baby was born. They were even there during the ultrasound of finding out the sex of the baby. We went out to dinner for my birthday and I decided that when I have the baby I wanted the adoptive Mom to be in the delivery room as well.
When I got induced due to Gestational Diabetes the adoptive family came to see me at the hospital when I was in labor. My water broke at 4am on February 17 so they came there later that afternoon. At 3:55 pm February 17, 2012 mine and the adoptive family's beautiful baby girl was born.
My mom and my daughter's adoptive mom both cut the umbilical cord together. I had my daughter for 2 days in the hospital then came the time to hand her over. That was the hardest moment of my life, that and signing the papers of handing over my parental rights. However it was the best thing for her because I know when you have children you have to put them first which is what I did.
Ever since the first week they've had her. Up to this time I've received around 250 pictures and I have about maybe 15 videos of her, we talk via email basically on a weekly basis, and will be Skyping soon.
I'll get to see her in February 2013 when she turns 1. Even though she is being raised by another family she is still the biggest blessing that I've ever had and I don't regret anything. I enjoyed the journey!