Life Stories

I Named Her Faith

I felt compelled to contact you after reading some or your stories from other women on your webpage regarding their abortions.

It was 4 years ago at the age of 22, I had an abortion and I still regret it to this day! I was in a loving,stable relationship and had an 18 month old son, we had our own home and both had jobs but when I discovered I was pregnant. In April of 2007 my partner told me in no uncertain terms that we could have this baby. I hung on as long as I could trying to change his mind but he was so determined he even booked the appointment for me. I so wanted him to come with me and see what it was like hoping to change his mind but he told me he was to busy at work. I chose not to tell anyone because I was a physical and emotional mess. I walked to the clinic alone,the journey seemed to take for ever even though it was only 10 mins away. I gave my name and was directed to the waiting room. I sat there looking at the other girls/women there with their partners or mothers and it broke my heart. I wanted and needed someone to hold my hand and tell me to run. Run as fast as I could and never look back, but instead I followed the nurse in deathly silence to a bed that would be mine for the next couple of hours. She gave me a pill to 'relax' me ready for the process and I lay there just listening to what was going on around the room. The young woman in the bed next to me was on 1st name terms with the nurse. It turns out she was on her 4th abortion. I just could not understand how she could be so detached. I hated myself for what I was doing and called the nurse. I told her I'd changed my mind and wanted to go home but she told me the pill would have already relaxed my muscles and if I didnt have the abortion today I would suffer a terrible miscarriage within the next day or so. I didnt have a choice. I remember as they put me to sleep a silent tear rolled down my face. Once I came round I felt empty. I couldnt cry. My partner picked me up and took me home. I was told not to be left alone but that night he went out drinking without a thought for me or the daughter we just sent to heaven. I named her Faith because I needed faith that she had gone to a better place.

I still pray for her every day, I talk to her and ask for her forgivness. I even release a balloon on her due date and abortion date every year. I just want people to see it doesnt matter what your circumstances are or what people say you should do, for it is a grief that never leaves you and a pain that never goes away .

If your website and my testimony can change just 1 persons mind and save 1 baby then it has done its job. Thank you!


Miss C